Homecoming Hangover
This past weekend was Homecoming weekend at the good ol University of Minnesota. So of course they scheduled the football game for 11am. Now, I work nights and have no classes before noon. So getting up at 8:00am to head out and drink is not something I'm accustomed to. Especially in the rain. Oh, and I should mention that I might have still been drunk from the night before. So this was shaping up to be a long day.
We got to the tailgating lot at 8:30 and started drinking at 8:32. What I should have realized is that I'm 23 years old and on my twilight years of marathon drinking so I should be taking it easy. Anyway, I turned into the shouting, slurring drunk at about 9:15. I found my friends tent at about this time as well.....and they were wearing dresses. Every year they dress up in drag and run for homecoming queen. This year they had a sponsor and 50 male contestants dressed in drag. The winner got a $50 bar tab and a tiara. I was an honorary judge and voted for the ugliest looking woman I had ever seen. Remember Chris Farley as the Lunchlady? Imagine a very drunk version of that....With a tiara.
I then headed over to another group of people I knew and promptly had a bloody mary spilled all over my pants. I didn't care, it was homecoming and no one could burst my bubble. Well except for the ticket taker at the game. He was positive that I had puked on myself and wouldn't let me in the game. Despite my attempts to get him to "taste my pants" he sent me away. Not thinking rationally at this point I found a puddle that looked like clean water and start washing my pants with it. Once I finished I take a look at my work and realize that it now looks like I pissed myself....Oh Well. I head up to a different gate and they let me right by. Apparently you're less drunk when you piss yourself as opposed to puking on yourself. Whatever, I got in.
I found a seat and proceeded to watch the best football game that I had ever seen in person. Just when I thought that the Gophers were crapping the bed again they come out of no where and win in double OT. Needless to say I had a great day, not as good as my roommate who got laid (which reminded me that my cold streak is now well over 365 days). I didn't care about that, which is probably not a good sign, we won.
Bring on JoePa!
We got to the tailgating lot at 8:30 and started drinking at 8:32. What I should have realized is that I'm 23 years old and on my twilight years of marathon drinking so I should be taking it easy. Anyway, I turned into the shouting, slurring drunk at about 9:15. I found my friends tent at about this time as well.....and they were wearing dresses. Every year they dress up in drag and run for homecoming queen. This year they had a sponsor and 50 male contestants dressed in drag. The winner got a $50 bar tab and a tiara. I was an honorary judge and voted for the ugliest looking woman I had ever seen. Remember Chris Farley as the Lunchlady? Imagine a very drunk version of that....With a tiara.
I then headed over to another group of people I knew and promptly had a bloody mary spilled all over my pants. I didn't care, it was homecoming and no one could burst my bubble. Well except for the ticket taker at the game. He was positive that I had puked on myself and wouldn't let me in the game. Despite my attempts to get him to "taste my pants" he sent me away. Not thinking rationally at this point I found a puddle that looked like clean water and start washing my pants with it. Once I finished I take a look at my work and realize that it now looks like I pissed myself....Oh Well. I head up to a different gate and they let me right by. Apparently you're less drunk when you piss yourself as opposed to puking on yourself. Whatever, I got in.
I found a seat and proceeded to watch the best football game that I had ever seen in person. Just when I thought that the Gophers were crapping the bed again they come out of no where and win in double OT. Needless to say I had a great day, not as good as my roommate who got laid (which reminded me that my cold streak is now well over 365 days). I didn't care about that, which is probably not a good sign, we won.
Bring on JoePa!
posted by Chad Chamley at 10:15 PM
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