Top 5 Cartoon Characters Who Might Be Gay
We've all watched cartoons at one time or another. I still do whenever I get the chance. When we were kids we thought that their homosexual traits were funny and didn't think anything of them. Now when we look back we wonder how we could have missed it. How could we miss the lack of the opposite sex in their lives. The way they talked and dressed made it obvious that they liked to smoke pole or munch rug, and we missed it. Now we watch these shows closer than we ever have before. Looking for signs to confirm our suspicions. I'm not talking about the obivious ones like Waylon Smithers, The Ambiguously Gay Duo, SpongeBob or Stewie Griffin who are suppose to be gay. I believe that the following characters weren't intended to be gay.
5. Velma (Scooby-Doo, Where Are You?)
Have you ever noticed that Velma is always sitting next to Daphne in the Mystery Machine. She has no sense of fashion because she is always wearing a turtle neck sweater with a skirt and knee high socks. Sports a butch hair cut and broad shoulders. Most of all, has never ever tried to bribe Shaggy into poking her using her vast supply of Scooby Snacks.
4. Snagglepuss (The Yogi Bear Show)
First off have you ever heard this character speak? He sounds like he should be a cast member on Queer Eye for the Straight Guy. All he wears are cufflinks and a bowtie, and, oh yeah, he's pink. He has one of the gayest catchphrases out there, "Heavens to Mergatroid". What the hell does that mean? Is that what he yells during intercourse? He is also always being chased by a man carrying a long shaft like object, which may or may not be a gun, and enjoying it way too much.
3. Bugs Bunny (Loony Toons)
Remember when Garth Algar asked Wayne if he thought Bugs Bunny was attractive when he dressed up as a girl bunny? We thought twice about Garth's sexuality (until Honey Horny). What we didn't think about, or at least I didn't, was why was Bugs Bunny dressed in drag? Why does he always kiss Elmer Fudd on the mouth? Why does he fondle Elmer's ass before he kicks it? Why is he always singing show tunes? Why is he always sticking phallic like objects into his mouth? Yes, I remember him drooling over Lola Bunny in Space Jam, but I just think he was trying to impress Michael Jordan
2. He-Man/Prince Adam (He-Man and the Masters of the Universe)
I realize that VH1 touched on this, but they didn't go into enough detail to make their case. First of all Prince of Eternia Adam (sounds like a gay bar) wore a pink vest and PURPLE TIGHTS! He only wore a loin cloth when he turned into He-Man. That should be evidence enough right there. I didn't even have to mention his extremely queer haircut. Also, all of his power comes from his "sword".
1. Vanity Smurf (The Smurfs)
Vain to the extreme. Not only is he effeminate but he wears a flower in his hat. His voice makes it easy to judge him. Never without his hand mirror, Vanity is a true diva. Who is the fairest one of them all? Smurfette? Bitch Please. You're beautiful, Vanity Smurf, no matter what they say.
5. Velma (Scooby-Doo, Where Are You?)
Have you ever noticed that Velma is always sitting next to Daphne in the Mystery Machine. She has no sense of fashion because she is always wearing a turtle neck sweater with a skirt and knee high socks. Sports a butch hair cut and broad shoulders. Most of all, has never ever tried to bribe Shaggy into poking her using her vast supply of Scooby Snacks.
4. Snagglepuss (The Yogi Bear Show)
First off have you ever heard this character speak? He sounds like he should be a cast member on Queer Eye for the Straight Guy. All he wears are cufflinks and a bowtie, and, oh yeah, he's pink. He has one of the gayest catchphrases out there, "Heavens to Mergatroid". What the hell does that mean? Is that what he yells during intercourse? He is also always being chased by a man carrying a long shaft like object, which may or may not be a gun, and enjoying it way too much.
3. Bugs Bunny (Loony Toons)
Remember when Garth Algar asked Wayne if he thought Bugs Bunny was attractive when he dressed up as a girl bunny? We thought twice about Garth's sexuality (until Honey Horny). What we didn't think about, or at least I didn't, was why was Bugs Bunny dressed in drag? Why does he always kiss Elmer Fudd on the mouth? Why does he fondle Elmer's ass before he kicks it? Why is he always singing show tunes? Why is he always sticking phallic like objects into his mouth? Yes, I remember him drooling over Lola Bunny in Space Jam, but I just think he was trying to impress Michael Jordan
2. He-Man/Prince Adam (He-Man and the Masters of the Universe)
I realize that VH1 touched on this, but they didn't go into enough detail to make their case. First of all Prince of Eternia Adam (sounds like a gay bar) wore a pink vest and PURPLE TIGHTS! He only wore a loin cloth when he turned into He-Man. That should be evidence enough right there. I didn't even have to mention his extremely queer haircut. Also, all of his power comes from his "sword".
1. Vanity Smurf (The Smurfs)
Vain to the extreme. Not only is he effeminate but he wears a flower in his hat. His voice makes it easy to judge him. Never without his hand mirror, Vanity is a true diva. Who is the fairest one of them all? Smurfette? Bitch Please. You're beautiful, Vanity Smurf, no matter what they say.
posted by Chad Chamley at 10:10 PM
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