Brain Droppings
Random thoughts while waiting for my Spaghettios to cool off.
*Looking back it probably wasn't the best idea to ask that fat Asian girl dressed as 'Jeannie' for Halloween if she was a sumo wrestler.
*I tricked a little kid out of fifty cents the other and didn't even feel guilty about it. Until I realized that the "quarters" he gave me were arcade tokens and I felt like an ass.
*I always get a kick when I'm sitting in the bathroom stall at work. It's funny to think that I'm getting paid to sit around with my pants around my ankles.
*I don't like the term virgin. I prefer to think of them as future whores.
*Do you think its trendy for Japanese teens to get tattoos of American words?
*I think its stupid when people say, "I'm not religious but I'm spiritual". I like to reply "I'm not honest, but you're interesting".
*Was I wrong to assume the guy eating his french fries with a fork and knife was most likely a psychopath?
*Rumor has it that Kevin Federline is aspiring to become a rapper. Probably in an effort to solidify himself as "the biggest douchebag ever"
*I'll say this once and only once: I don't want to see any pictures of your kids. I'm serious.
*My definition of fear: Not realizing that 'ladies' night' consists of a primarily lesbian crowd. Most of which would like nothing more than to kick your ass for having testicles. Most of which are more than capable to accomplish that.
*I think I'm unknowingly practicing some sort of reverse Tantric. Just when I'm about to get some girl to have sex with me I say the most awkward thing imaginable.
*A homosexual man asked me if I "wanted to taste the rainbow". I had to throw away the rest of my Skittles.
*Winter is coming and I'm not happy about it. You'll feel the same way about it once you get hit in the sack by an errant snowball.
*There's comedy, there's high comedy, there's transcendent comedy, then there's plus size women getting WAY too excited when the bar plays 'Baby Got Back'.....Actually, that's more traumatizing than anything.
*Looking back it probably wasn't the best idea to ask that fat Asian girl dressed as 'Jeannie' for Halloween if she was a sumo wrestler.
*I tricked a little kid out of fifty cents the other and didn't even feel guilty about it. Until I realized that the "quarters" he gave me were arcade tokens and I felt like an ass.
*I always get a kick when I'm sitting in the bathroom stall at work. It's funny to think that I'm getting paid to sit around with my pants around my ankles.
*I don't like the term virgin. I prefer to think of them as future whores.
*Do you think its trendy for Japanese teens to get tattoos of American words?
*I think its stupid when people say, "I'm not religious but I'm spiritual". I like to reply "I'm not honest, but you're interesting".
*Was I wrong to assume the guy eating his french fries with a fork and knife was most likely a psychopath?
*Rumor has it that Kevin Federline is aspiring to become a rapper. Probably in an effort to solidify himself as "the biggest douchebag ever"
*I'll say this once and only once: I don't want to see any pictures of your kids. I'm serious.
*My definition of fear: Not realizing that 'ladies' night' consists of a primarily lesbian crowd. Most of which would like nothing more than to kick your ass for having testicles. Most of which are more than capable to accomplish that.
*I think I'm unknowingly practicing some sort of reverse Tantric. Just when I'm about to get some girl to have sex with me I say the most awkward thing imaginable.
*A homosexual man asked me if I "wanted to taste the rainbow". I had to throw away the rest of my Skittles.
*Winter is coming and I'm not happy about it. You'll feel the same way about it once you get hit in the sack by an errant snowball.
*There's comedy, there's high comedy, there's transcendent comedy, then there's plus size women getting WAY too excited when the bar plays 'Baby Got Back'.....Actually, that's more traumatizing than anything.
posted by Chad Chamley at 10:10 PM
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