Brain Droppings
Random thoughts while waiting for my Spaghettios to cool off.
*Looking back it probably wasn't the best idea to ask that fat Asian girl dressed as 'Jeannie' for Halloween if she was a sumo wrestler.
*I tricked a little kid out of fifty cents the other and didn't even feel guilty about it. Until I realized that the "quarters" he gave me were arcade tokens and I felt like an ass.
*I always get a kick when I'm sitting in the bathroom stall at work. It's funny to think that I'm getting paid to sit around with my pants around my ankles.
*I don't like the term virgin. I prefer to think of them as future whores.
*Do you think its trendy for Japanese teens to get tattoos of American words?
*I think its stupid when people say, "I'm not religious but I'm spiritual". I like to reply "I'm not honest, but you're interesting".
*Was I wrong to assume the guy eating his french fries with a fork and knife was most likely a psychopath?
*Rumor has it that Kevin Federline is aspiring to become a rapper. Probably in an effort to solidify himself as "the biggest douchebag ever"
*I'll say this once and only once: I don't want to see any pictures of your kids. I'm serious.
*My definition of fear: Not realizing that 'ladies' night' consists of a primarily lesbian crowd. Most of which would like nothing more than to kick your ass for having testicles. Most of which are more than capable to accomplish that.
*I think I'm unknowingly practicing some sort of reverse Tantric. Just when I'm about to get some girl to have sex with me I say the most awkward thing imaginable.
*A homosexual man asked me if I "wanted to taste the rainbow". I had to throw away the rest of my Skittles.
*Winter is coming and I'm not happy about it. You'll feel the same way about it once you get hit in the sack by an errant snowball.
*There's comedy, there's high comedy, there's transcendent comedy, then there's plus size women getting WAY too excited when the bar plays 'Baby Got Back'.....Actually, that's more traumatizing than anything.
*Looking back it probably wasn't the best idea to ask that fat Asian girl dressed as 'Jeannie' for Halloween if she was a sumo wrestler.
*I tricked a little kid out of fifty cents the other and didn't even feel guilty about it. Until I realized that the "quarters" he gave me were arcade tokens and I felt like an ass.
*I always get a kick when I'm sitting in the bathroom stall at work. It's funny to think that I'm getting paid to sit around with my pants around my ankles.
*I don't like the term virgin. I prefer to think of them as future whores.
*Do you think its trendy for Japanese teens to get tattoos of American words?
*I think its stupid when people say, "I'm not religious but I'm spiritual". I like to reply "I'm not honest, but you're interesting".
*Was I wrong to assume the guy eating his french fries with a fork and knife was most likely a psychopath?
*Rumor has it that Kevin Federline is aspiring to become a rapper. Probably in an effort to solidify himself as "the biggest douchebag ever"
*I'll say this once and only once: I don't want to see any pictures of your kids. I'm serious.
*My definition of fear: Not realizing that 'ladies' night' consists of a primarily lesbian crowd. Most of which would like nothing more than to kick your ass for having testicles. Most of which are more than capable to accomplish that.
*I think I'm unknowingly practicing some sort of reverse Tantric. Just when I'm about to get some girl to have sex with me I say the most awkward thing imaginable.
*A homosexual man asked me if I "wanted to taste the rainbow". I had to throw away the rest of my Skittles.
*Winter is coming and I'm not happy about it. You'll feel the same way about it once you get hit in the sack by an errant snowball.
*There's comedy, there's high comedy, there's transcendent comedy, then there's plus size women getting WAY too excited when the bar plays 'Baby Got Back'.....Actually, that's more traumatizing than anything.
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