Brain Droppings
Random thoughts while wondering home after a day of drinking.
*You haven't lived until you walk out of a liquor store with a gross of beer for three people. Especially if you've never tasted the beer beforehand.
*I'm actually envious of the homless guy by my apartment. He owns a Minnesota State Screaming Eagles (from the show Coach) Starter Jacket. I'm waiting for it to get warmer to make him an offer for it.
*If you're ironing for the first time it's not the best idea to start with your favorite shirt.
*I get a somewhat proud feeling when I expose a bum's scam to get money. Like I've just solved a crime.
*You won't believe what people will do if you convince them that you are a doctor of alternative medicine. For example, eating 4 sugar cubes as fast as you can will cure a hangover.
*Ladies, if you're going to put on make-up in the morning before class then at least change out of your pajamas. You look rediculous, especially when you're wearing huge boots with your pajama pants.
*If the upcoming WWE produced movie See No Evil is anything like the XFL I think we'll have a huge hit on our hands, or at the very least another reason to laugh at WWE fans.
*You gotta love it when your mom calls on the weekend and you tell her you're at the library (which is a bar) and she's disappointed that you're not out drinking.
*Times are changing now that I've become the moonee instead of the mooner.
*I think it would be funny if people actually carried "V-Cards" around and had to give them away upon losing thier virginity or risk punishment to the fullest extent of the law.
*I never realized how big of a nerd I was until I high fived someone I just met right after completing the daily Sudoku.
* Paris Hilton has reportedly turned down Playboy numerous times. Now I'll never see her naked.
* I heard that women guess other women's ages buy looking at their skin. That's usually one of the last things that goes through my, and probably most men's mind when we look at women's "skin".
* How do you take a teacher seriously when she looks like the female version of Robin Williams complete with the hairy arms? Seriously, I can't do it.
* There is no reason to go ten miles per hour under the speed limit simply because there is light drizzle. Yes, I'm talking to you Minnesota drivers. Pussies.
*Do the actors on Unsolved Mysteries ever get arrested because they look just like the criminal they are playing?
* Why did Yankee Doodle name the feather in his hat Macaroni? Was he retarded?
* Is it mean to buy illiterate people Alphabet soup?
* Why are the commercials for cable companies on cable but not on regular television? I don't claim to be a marketing genius but wouldn't they want the people without cable to get cable?
*There's comedy, there's high comedy, there's transcendant comedy, then there's witnessing someone not properly brace themselves on the bus and take a few people down with them when they stumble.
*You haven't lived until you walk out of a liquor store with a gross of beer for three people. Especially if you've never tasted the beer beforehand.
*I'm actually envious of the homless guy by my apartment. He owns a Minnesota State Screaming Eagles (from the show Coach) Starter Jacket. I'm waiting for it to get warmer to make him an offer for it.
*If you're ironing for the first time it's not the best idea to start with your favorite shirt.
*I get a somewhat proud feeling when I expose a bum's scam to get money. Like I've just solved a crime.
*You won't believe what people will do if you convince them that you are a doctor of alternative medicine. For example, eating 4 sugar cubes as fast as you can will cure a hangover.
*Ladies, if you're going to put on make-up in the morning before class then at least change out of your pajamas. You look rediculous, especially when you're wearing huge boots with your pajama pants.
*If the upcoming WWE produced movie See No Evil is anything like the XFL I think we'll have a huge hit on our hands, or at the very least another reason to laugh at WWE fans.
*You gotta love it when your mom calls on the weekend and you tell her you're at the library (which is a bar) and she's disappointed that you're not out drinking.
*Times are changing now that I've become the moonee instead of the mooner.
*I think it would be funny if people actually carried "V-Cards" around and had to give them away upon losing thier virginity or risk punishment to the fullest extent of the law.
*I never realized how big of a nerd I was until I high fived someone I just met right after completing the daily Sudoku.
* Paris Hilton has reportedly turned down Playboy numerous times. Now I'll never see her naked.
* I heard that women guess other women's ages buy looking at their skin. That's usually one of the last things that goes through my, and probably most men's mind when we look at women's "skin".
* How do you take a teacher seriously when she looks like the female version of Robin Williams complete with the hairy arms? Seriously, I can't do it.
* There is no reason to go ten miles per hour under the speed limit simply because there is light drizzle. Yes, I'm talking to you Minnesota drivers. Pussies.
*Do the actors on Unsolved Mysteries ever get arrested because they look just like the criminal they are playing?
* Why did Yankee Doodle name the feather in his hat Macaroni? Was he retarded?
* Is it mean to buy illiterate people Alphabet soup?
* Why are the commercials for cable companies on cable but not on regular television? I don't claim to be a marketing genius but wouldn't they want the people without cable to get cable?
*There's comedy, there's high comedy, there's transcendant comedy, then there's witnessing someone not properly brace themselves on the bus and take a few people down with them when they stumble.
posted by Chad Chamley at 10:06 PM
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