Free Beer Friday Is Ruining My Life
Dear Chad,
We've known eachother for what is it now, 23 years. Its been a pretty good relationship. We've had our good time and we've hit some rough spots, but all in all I'd say we've managed to co-exist pretty successfully up to this point. I've tried to just keep quiet and do my job, but that's getting harder and harder with each passing weekend. Look I didn't complain about 1.50 pitcher night, but I have to tell you. Chad, Free Beer Fridays is ruining my life.
Let me take you through what a Friday night is like for me. First, we go to this bar where I can hear pianos playing and you singing like an asshole. When out of no where you slam two pints and my night of hell starts....At 6pm. This trend continues for about three hours, and while I work my ass off to ensure you stay alive, you continue shout what I'm sure you consider to be singing, its not, you suck, so do everyone a favor and SHUT THE HELL UP!
Just when I get into my groove you start pounding beers at the free beer special. Now I don't know if your in some sort of race but you start sending beer my way at an alarming rate. I'm not Superman you douchebag, slow the fuck down! And why are you drinking Blue Moon? Do you hate me that much? You drink cheap light beer every other time then you throw this shit my way? Well, Fuck you too, cocksucker. Where in the hell did you go this weekend after the bars? All I remember is getting a 20 minute break then getting bombarded by Miller Light. Don't tell your loser ass is still going to house parties. You're pathetic.
Look, since that lazy bastard stomach won't send some of it back where it came I have to do all the work. All I'm asking is for you to try pacing yourself. Which is exactly the opposite of what you did this weekend. You, like the asshole you are, get up at 11am on Saturday to start drinking again. EVERY WEEKEND! God, you piss me off sometimes.
I just wanted to let you know that if you keep this up I will make your life painful. Just slow it down a little bit that's all. We're not 18 anymore. We can't be pulling this shit every weekend otherwise one of us is going to die. And I will do everything in my power to make sure that that person is you.
Sincerely,
Your Liver
P.S. If you don't start pulling some tail soon penis will go on strike. Just FYI.
We've known eachother for what is it now, 23 years. Its been a pretty good relationship. We've had our good time and we've hit some rough spots, but all in all I'd say we've managed to co-exist pretty successfully up to this point. I've tried to just keep quiet and do my job, but that's getting harder and harder with each passing weekend. Look I didn't complain about 1.50 pitcher night, but I have to tell you. Chad, Free Beer Fridays is ruining my life.
Let me take you through what a Friday night is like for me. First, we go to this bar where I can hear pianos playing and you singing like an asshole. When out of no where you slam two pints and my night of hell starts....At 6pm. This trend continues for about three hours, and while I work my ass off to ensure you stay alive, you continue shout what I'm sure you consider to be singing, its not, you suck, so do everyone a favor and SHUT THE HELL UP!
Just when I get into my groove you start pounding beers at the free beer special. Now I don't know if your in some sort of race but you start sending beer my way at an alarming rate. I'm not Superman you douchebag, slow the fuck down! And why are you drinking Blue Moon? Do you hate me that much? You drink cheap light beer every other time then you throw this shit my way? Well, Fuck you too, cocksucker. Where in the hell did you go this weekend after the bars? All I remember is getting a 20 minute break then getting bombarded by Miller Light. Don't tell your loser ass is still going to house parties. You're pathetic.
Look, since that lazy bastard stomach won't send some of it back where it came I have to do all the work. All I'm asking is for you to try pacing yourself. Which is exactly the opposite of what you did this weekend. You, like the asshole you are, get up at 11am on Saturday to start drinking again. EVERY WEEKEND! God, you piss me off sometimes.
I just wanted to let you know that if you keep this up I will make your life painful. Just slow it down a little bit that's all. We're not 18 anymore. We can't be pulling this shit every weekend otherwise one of us is going to die. And I will do everything in my power to make sure that that person is you.
Sincerely,
Your Liver
P.S. If you don't start pulling some tail soon penis will go on strike. Just FYI.
posted by Chad Chamley at 9:40 PM
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