4th of July Safety Tips
Every year I read about some stupid Southerner who blew their hand off lighting fireworks and every year I think that these incidents can be avoided if only a little common sense was practiced. So In an effort to limit these accidents and keep America safe I am going to offer my services in the form of safety education.
Roman Candles
These things can be dangerous if not used properly. You could hit someone in the eye causing them to go blind thus losing the ablity dodge the rest of the fireballs that your twisted ass keeps shooting at them. All you have to do to avoid this is make sure they're not facing you or at the very least wearing protective eyewear. Remember burns heal, blindness doesn't.
Bon Fires
This can be a great time to share stories or just spend time with the family watching the fireworks. Which is always a great time, especially since you're wasted. Once wasted you're probably going to see how close you can get to the fire, hell you might even try to jump over it. Its a holiday why not? But be careful, fire is hot. Make sure to get a good running start before you try to jump over. It will give you a better chance at clearing the mighty flame and becoming an Independence Day legend.
On The Lake
You can't have a 4th without sitting out on the lake. Well you can but thats like having Christmas without snow. Anyway the lake possesses many perils. One of the most common is drowning. Nobody likes to drown and I'm sure you're no different. Many people will tell you to wear those uncomfortable life jackets. Well thats up to you I think an easier way to keep from drowning is learn how to swim. It has worked for me and many others so far and i'm sure it will work for you too.
Fireworks in General
The right to shoot fireworks twice a year was why we faught the Revolutionary War, and I'll be damned if I don't use this right and shoot off as many fireworks as possible. Like war fireworks can leave a mark if not done properly. To ensure that you're not injured ask your extremely drunk buddy to do the honors of lighting the fuses. That way it will be him or her risking injury and not yourself allowing you to enjoy your freedom at a safe distance.
Have a great holiday weekend.
Link of the Week
For Those of You Who Love and Hate Horses
Roman Candles
These things can be dangerous if not used properly. You could hit someone in the eye causing them to go blind thus losing the ablity dodge the rest of the fireballs that your twisted ass keeps shooting at them. All you have to do to avoid this is make sure they're not facing you or at the very least wearing protective eyewear. Remember burns heal, blindness doesn't.
Bon Fires
This can be a great time to share stories or just spend time with the family watching the fireworks. Which is always a great time, especially since you're wasted. Once wasted you're probably going to see how close you can get to the fire, hell you might even try to jump over it. Its a holiday why not? But be careful, fire is hot. Make sure to get a good running start before you try to jump over. It will give you a better chance at clearing the mighty flame and becoming an Independence Day legend.
On The Lake
You can't have a 4th without sitting out on the lake. Well you can but thats like having Christmas without snow. Anyway the lake possesses many perils. One of the most common is drowning. Nobody likes to drown and I'm sure you're no different. Many people will tell you to wear those uncomfortable life jackets. Well thats up to you I think an easier way to keep from drowning is learn how to swim. It has worked for me and many others so far and i'm sure it will work for you too.
Fireworks in General
The right to shoot fireworks twice a year was why we faught the Revolutionary War, and I'll be damned if I don't use this right and shoot off as many fireworks as possible. Like war fireworks can leave a mark if not done properly. To ensure that you're not injured ask your extremely drunk buddy to do the honors of lighting the fuses. That way it will be him or her risking injury and not yourself allowing you to enjoy your freedom at a safe distance.
Have a great holiday weekend.
Link of the Week
For Those of You Who Love and Hate Horses
posted by Chad Chamley at 7:22 PM
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