Ranting & Raving

You may not be able to tell if you met me but certain things piss me off. I try to keep them to myself, but the longer I keep them in the more of my soul they destroy. So I'm going to use this medium as a means to release what I believe is all that is wrong with the world today. I appologize in advance to all the lovely lovely females out there because you seem to have taken over my shit list. Not to worry though there are numorous other things that are rubbing me the wrong way as oppose to the females not rubbing me at all.

Lance Armstrong
Now, you're probably thinking "how can you be mad a Lance you heartless prick, he overcame cancer to win a bunch of bike races". Well put away your weapons and stop writing me hate mail and I'll tell you. There is an arguement that says that Armstrong is the greatest Athlete EVER!. To which I reply with a hearty "bullshit", "shenanagans" even. Be reasonable people, all the man did was ride a bike. All that requires is endurance. There is almost no strategy involved. Hell, more is asked of porn stars than bike riders, yet no one is wearing yellow braclets supporting them. All I'm saying is that Armstrong rode a bike for long periods of time. I realize he was better than anyone else, but so was Michael Jordan and Wayne Gretzky, and they had to worry about more than just falling down or how to satisfy Sheryl Crow with only one testicle.

Girls*
I'm going to break this down into sub categories for easy reference.
-Fashion
A lot of the ladies today look rediculous and I'm not the only one who thinks so. There are plenty of guys I know, who wish to remain annonymous, that agree with me when I say: stop folding up regular pants in to capri pants. Capri pants look stupid on thier own now you're taking pants that weren't intended to be folded up and turning them into the atrocities that we see today. Go out and buy some damn capri pants or if at all possible avoid them. No guy in their right mind likes them. If they say they do its because they want them off of you.

You are now wearing those huge sunglasses that used to be reserved only for flamboyantly gay musicians. You look like goddam clowns when you wear these things. They serve no practical purpose other than keeping the sun out of your eyes and hiding your face. You can keep the sun out with regular glasses and if you need to hide your hideous face that bad stay home.

We'll stay on the topic of non-practical fashion items and explore handbags or purses or what guys like to call "complete wastes of money". Why in the name of all that is holy do you need a $300 bag for? You can get one the same size with all the fancy compartments at Wal-Mart or GoodWill for under $30. Hell, you could get the same use out of a grocery bag. The only reason I can think of is that you want to show the rest of the bitches out there that you are in fact the queen of the self centered and vain. Men all across the country are going broke because thier lady wants a to be able to show off to the world that she's spoiled. Guys don't give a shit if you have a Louis Vutton or Coach bag. If they say anything about it they're gay, because a strait guy could tell tell the difference between those and the knockoffs at K-Mart.

Drama
If I got mad everytime someone said something negative about me I would never be able to leave the house. But I know better, I know that people (including myself) are generally idiots and will say things they shouldn't. However, this doesn't doesn't give you the right claw another girl's eyes out. Although that would be entertaining it would cause more harm than good. Also, stop starting shit with guys and then ask your boy/guy friend to come to your rescue. We would really rather not get our ass kicked because you failed to keep mouth shut and mind your own business.

Rational Thought
I'm not asking for much here, just that you take some time to think things through before you make your set-in-stone-nonflexible-no-matter-what decision. Its bad enough that you don't use this when you're shopping, but now your inability to be rational is starting to effect me. I beg you please, please listen to other options. It will also provide you with a much needed reason to be quiet for a few moments.

NHL
I wish this atrocity of a league would go away for good or at least move to Canada where they would at least enjoy it. No one was watching it before and no one will watch it now. So please NHL go away and take the Real World/Road Rules challenge with you.

Stephen A. Smith
Quite Frankly, I think this guy is an overexposed sensationalist who has no right to be on television. I mean if your going to give this asshole a show you might as well give Jay Mariotti and Skip Bayless their own shows too. Why not go all out ESPN an make sure every sports fan in America contemplates suicide and fire Hall of Famer, Peter Gammons. You know since you're trying to fill your program schedule with writers that can't hold a coherant thought.

The Princes of Malibu
I just want to clarify to everyone that this is not a reality show. Just look at the credits. It was created by the two sons and they are producers. They know everything that is going to happen on the show because THEY ARE THE PRODUCERS! If I could convince you to do one thing with this website it would be to get you to stop watching this show.

Link of the Week
Dumb Videos and Links

*It is not the intent of the author to single anyone out with this rant. If you think he did then maybe you should rethink your lifestyle. Feel free to disagree with anything he said in the comment section. Again, it was not the author's intent to single any one person out.