Bar Scene Breakdown
I recently brought you an index of the types of drunks there are out there and since people seemed to like it I decided to expand on the topic. In the article I will breakdown the types of people you will most likely encounter everytime you go to the bar, or maybe shine some light on your bar habits. Either way I defy you to find a bar that doesn't have one of the following tossing back a few.
"The Dancing Queen"
Most bars playing loud music will have a few of these. These girls (and sometimes men) seem to only be happy when they are dancing, usually by themselves or with another girl. They don't care that their bar tab is being driven up by the mass amounts of the drinks that get spilled. I do however get a kick out of these people because the majority of them don't know how to dance.
"The Striped Shirt Guy"
You will usually find this guy at dance clubs sipping on Long Island Ice Teas or Gin & Tonic hitting on anything with a vagina. Most of the time you will see these guys in striped button down shirt packs, feasting on the drunkest dirtiest girls at the club. These guy are very easy to spot not only because of the stripped shirt but because of the stench of the excess use of Tag/Axe body spray.
"The Normie"
The "Normie" has a lot of the same characteristics as the famous Cheers character. They're just sitting at the bar or table with a few friends drinking beer. Normies are probably the least moblie of the bar patrons (by choice), only getting up to relieve themselves or get more beer if the waitstaff isn't available. These usually friendly people tend to mind themselves as long as there is a beer in front of them and something to talk about.
"The Douchebag"
A close relative to the "striped shirt" guy. Described in full detail at the link provided. I will say this about this group. Dispite their douchebaggedness they always seem like their having fun. However, they are the ones who choose to go out in public looking like this.
"The Social Butterfly"
These girls seem to know everybody or at least try to know everybody if you know what I mean. These girls are generally nice and can sometimes be a little misleading. They're usually just really talkative when they are drunk or at least that's there excuse. I like to believe that it's because they're women and don't know how to keep quiet for extended periods of time. Don't confuse them with....
"The Skank"
These girls usually head to the bar with an agenda that 9.999 times out of ten does not involve me. I good way to spot these girls is to see who is laughing at the douchebag's jokes or who is surrouned by striped shirts. These girls love the attention but will tell you otherwise if you call them on it. Which its why you should stay away from them. Unless you're....
"The Manwhore"
They can easily be confused with the striped shirt guy the only difference is that the striped shirt guy cares more about his appearance then getting laid. The manwhore will stop at nothing to bring home some tail. Even if it means spending $80 on vodka cranberries or amaretto sours.
"The Creepy Old Guy"
Usually found at college bars the creepy old guy seems to be always sitting in the same spot everytime you go to the bar. I haven't figured out he mystery behind their ability to give girls chills with just one look. Look out for the ones who like to make physical contact with you.
"The Sloppy Drunk"
These people are always fun to watch from a distance. They can either be a guy or a girl. When its a guy its the one yelling and staggering around just before the bouncers kick him out. The girls are always being dragged around because they've lost the ability to use their feet, which doesn't seem to keep them from laughing.
"Mr./Miss Karoke"
It doesn't have to be Karoke night for these people to come out. They will sing (horribly) every song that the bar is playing. These people have the potential to ruin a night out, especially if they're traveling in groups. And don't tell these people that they are bad singers because they will spend the rest of the night trying to prove you wrong.
Link of the Week
This never gets old
"The Dancing Queen"
Most bars playing loud music will have a few of these. These girls (and sometimes men) seem to only be happy when they are dancing, usually by themselves or with another girl. They don't care that their bar tab is being driven up by the mass amounts of the drinks that get spilled. I do however get a kick out of these people because the majority of them don't know how to dance.
"The Striped Shirt Guy"
You will usually find this guy at dance clubs sipping on Long Island Ice Teas or Gin & Tonic hitting on anything with a vagina. Most of the time you will see these guys in striped button down shirt packs, feasting on the drunkest dirtiest girls at the club. These guy are very easy to spot not only because of the stripped shirt but because of the stench of the excess use of Tag/Axe body spray.
"The Normie"
The "Normie" has a lot of the same characteristics as the famous Cheers character. They're just sitting at the bar or table with a few friends drinking beer. Normies are probably the least moblie of the bar patrons (by choice), only getting up to relieve themselves or get more beer if the waitstaff isn't available. These usually friendly people tend to mind themselves as long as there is a beer in front of them and something to talk about.
"The Douchebag"
A close relative to the "striped shirt" guy. Described in full detail at the link provided. I will say this about this group. Dispite their douchebaggedness they always seem like their having fun. However, they are the ones who choose to go out in public looking like this.
"The Social Butterfly"
These girls seem to know everybody or at least try to know everybody if you know what I mean. These girls are generally nice and can sometimes be a little misleading. They're usually just really talkative when they are drunk or at least that's there excuse. I like to believe that it's because they're women and don't know how to keep quiet for extended periods of time. Don't confuse them with....
"The Skank"
These girls usually head to the bar with an agenda that 9.999 times out of ten does not involve me. I good way to spot these girls is to see who is laughing at the douchebag's jokes or who is surrouned by striped shirts. These girls love the attention but will tell you otherwise if you call them on it. Which its why you should stay away from them. Unless you're....
"The Manwhore"
They can easily be confused with the striped shirt guy the only difference is that the striped shirt guy cares more about his appearance then getting laid. The manwhore will stop at nothing to bring home some tail. Even if it means spending $80 on vodka cranberries or amaretto sours.
"The Creepy Old Guy"
Usually found at college bars the creepy old guy seems to be always sitting in the same spot everytime you go to the bar. I haven't figured out he mystery behind their ability to give girls chills with just one look. Look out for the ones who like to make physical contact with you.
"The Sloppy Drunk"
These people are always fun to watch from a distance. They can either be a guy or a girl. When its a guy its the one yelling and staggering around just before the bouncers kick him out. The girls are always being dragged around because they've lost the ability to use their feet, which doesn't seem to keep them from laughing.
"Mr./Miss Karoke"
It doesn't have to be Karoke night for these people to come out. They will sing (horribly) every song that the bar is playing. These people have the potential to ruin a night out, especially if they're traveling in groups. And don't tell these people that they are bad singers because they will spend the rest of the night trying to prove you wrong.
Link of the Week
This never gets old
posted by Chad Chamley at 8:15 PM
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